Jesus, Me? What'll I do? (Breast Cancer Post # 6)

 What’ll I do?

When my daughter was young, she used to amiably inquire, “What’ll I do?” anytime she wasn’t sure what to do next. It was always with the intent of pleasing us. My husband loved it, and took it on as a saying himself.

When I recently found out that my breast cancer was back, and had metastasized to my brain and bones, I immediately asked God, “What did I do?” Blaming myself, I could not get to the point where I could move forward constructively and ask what I should do next. Instead, I went over and over what I should have done different, both physically and spiritually.  

 

My whole adult life has been a big disciplinary act of trying to stay healthy. If it caused cancer, I wouldn’t go near it. If it was physical, it was by no means something I did that I should have known better. That left me with the spiritual - did sin get me here?  

    Sin

We are fully forgiven one hundred percent, for past, present and future sins. God only sees the righteousness of His son in us. For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. (2 Corinthians 5:21) Just to be clear, I'm not worried about my salvation here. 

Adam’s sin brought death to all of us, and thanks be to God, through Christ, we are made alive! (1 Corinthians 15:22) But maybe this is a consequence of my sin, not Adam's. Our sin, after all, does find us out. (Numbers 32:23) For example, smoking often leads to lung cancer. If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. (I Corinthians 3:17) Did I do this to myself somehow? Is there something I can do to stop it? Oh Lord, Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: (Psalm 19:12&13) Many sleepless nights followed.

       Mad at Myself, or God? 

Then the song Nothing Can Touch Me That Doesn't Pass Through His Hand was sung in church the other day. I know it is true, and I know it is comforting…but not a lot for me right now. Beyond a doubt - He can heal me, so why wouldn’t He? Could I possibly be mad at my God for letting it get this far? I certainly don’t want to be! Not just because He is a consuming fire, (Hebrews 12:29) but because He has been SO VERY GOOD to me. 

Yet I find my self basically hiding from, or at least not making eye contact with Him. Typically, I would be all about having an ongoing and constant conversation with my best friend; now there are gaps without Him that I never had before. 

When I was dealing with breast cancer initially, I said that I would never question what the lover of my soul is doing. Now that’s all I seem to do. I need to remember how Jesus answered Peter in John chapter 21. When after Jesus told him of his future martyrdom, Peter asked what was going to happen to John. Jesus basically told him that it was none of his business. I used to chuckle at that - now it’s not so funny! (I must note here, that Peter’s death was to glorify God; a blessing above all blessings!) 

       Make Our Requests Known 

Philippians 4:6 says, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. It’s absolutely okay to ask God for exactly what you want. We just have to realize that He might have a better way, even if we can’t see it yet. God’s plan of salvation was much better than what Jesus wanted (being fully man!) when He asked for his cup to pass from Him. (Matthew 26:39) This is exactly why He ended His prayer with, nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will. (Being fully God!) I hold dearly on to the fact that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) It restores my soul to know that God has a beautiful plan in the works. I can't see it (at all!) but I know it's there, because He said so. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. (Ephesians 3:20)

     Eternal Illness

Technically, I have advanced cancer, not terminal cancer. Yet, that’s the term I seem to repeat to myself. Instead of thinking I have a terminal illness, I have decided to think of it as an eternal illness, as this illness is actually giving me more eternal life. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. (John 17:3) By much, I know Him better every day. I don’t go a minute without deeply diving into what Jesus is doing in my life. Whether I like what He’s doing or not, knowing Him better is so much better than a better life! 

    Praise God!

What it all comes down to is this: I have great joy when I think of God’s Truth, His Honesty, His Justice, His Purity, His Loveliness, His good report, and His virtue. (Philippians 4:8&9) It instantly leads me to praise Him, and praising Him never fails to pull me out of the dark, lonely place I go to when I wander from His fold. So I will set my mind on things of the Spirit, (instead of things of the flesh) where I will find life and peace! (Romans 8:5&6)  

  

Praise him for his mighty acts: 

praise him according to 

his excellent greatness. 

(Psalms 150:2)

By him therefore

let us offer the sacrifice of praise 

to God continually, that is, 

the fruit of our lips 

giving thanks to his name. 

Hebrews 13:15

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; 

(Psalm 23) 

 

 

What is Hell really like?

Has anyone ever told you to go die in hell? My guess is that they were not being as mean as they intended to be...one only wishes they could die in hell; it's torment is eternal. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "The party in hell has been cancelled due to the fire". I know a lot of people that are going to be disappointed! Without giving it much thought, we mortals assume that if hell even exists, it is worth going to so that we can have fun while still 'alive'. Many of us believe in heaven but refuse to believe in hell. That's like believing that the Philadelphia Eagles did indeed win the Superbowl, but that the New England Patriots did not necessarily lose. What keeps many souls from buying into the whole idea of hell is that they cannot believe that our loving God would be so cruel. With so much at stake, I say we ask God about it Himself, by opening his word. (Opening the word of God is opening his mouth!)

Could God be so cruel?

Why would our God, who is love, prepare such a place of torment for us? Actually, he didn't. It was prepared for the devil and his angels. "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:" - Matthew 25:41 Then, once sin entered into the hearts of man, our death became certain. "But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." - Genesis 2:17 Since we are all born in the image of Adam, we are all born into sin and death, and all sin is always directed toward God. Since God is pure holiness and righteousness, He cannot tolerate sin. It is the very wrath of God that burns against the wicked and disobedient that is hell. "In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;" 
- 2 Thessalonians 1:8-9

Jesus warns us of hell

"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell." 
-Matthew 10:28

"So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just, And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 
- Matthew 13:49-50

"And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. - Mark 9:43-48 (Note here that Jesus is quoting scripture, from the prophet Isaiah, spoken 700 years prior. "And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh." - Isaiah 66:24)

God does not want a one of us to suffer

Fortunately for us, it is not God's will that any of us should suffer. "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." - 2 Peter 3:9 In fact, He pardons us abundantly! "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." - Isaiah 55:7 What about the people who have never heard of our loving God? He wouldn't send them to hell, right?  "For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened." - Romans 1:19-21 God will show Himself to everyone! 

As hard as it is to think about hell, it weighs much more heavily on my heart the fact that God sent his only begotten son to it in our place. "Now that he ascended, what is it but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth?" - Ephesians 4:9  Not only did Jesus endure hell while never having sinned a day in His life, He actually became our sin for us. "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." - 2 Corinthians 5:21 The only thing worse than letting Jesus take the fall for us, is letting Him do it for nothing. Right now, Jesus is preparing a very, very special place for us, and it is ours for the asking! "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." - John 14:2 It truly is your choice; you can choose to spend eternity wailing and gnashing your teeth where your worm dieth not in flames, or you can choose to live in the mansion Jesus prepared for you.  Can we call this a no-brainer?! Determine your eternity today by praying this prayer, and meaning it with all your heart:

Heavenly Father, 

I know that I am a sinner, 

and unless I accept your gift of salvation, 

I am lost forever. 

I thank you for sending your son to die for me 

and save me from an eternity in hell.  

I now receive Jesus as my Savior. 

In His holy name, I pray.

Or, if you're in a hurry - 

"Jesus save me!" 

Sidenote: Before you go digging into your bible, it is important to know that the word 'hell' is found in the Authorized King James Version 54 times. All the new translations have it much fewer times. In fact, many have taken it the hell out. 

  New King James Version….......32 times

  New International Version…....…14 times

  New American Standard Bible…13 times

  American Standard Version….…13 times

  New Living Translation………….13 times

  Revised Standard Version…......12 times

  New American Bible………......…0 times!

Although you can learn from any bible, it is in many bible scholar's opinions (and my beginner's mind) that the words in the Authorized King James Version of 1611 are God's preserved words. "The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever." - Psalms 12:6-7 

Please remember, BIBLE BAIT is written by a novice Bible study student, not a Bible scholar. If something doesn't look quite right to you, dig into God's word. The one thing I promise you is that you won't get bored! Many thanks to my friend Renee Driscoll, who helps me keep Bible Bait Biblically correct.

The Second Commandment of God

Man, am I ever glad that I am saved by grace and grace alone. Just the very thought of trying not to sin in any way is in a way a sin…for that would make us as God, rather than praising His sinlessness. My latest revelation is that I have been sinning simultaneous while praising him! 

In almost every room of my house I have an image of my Savior. Daily I feast my eyes on them. They remind me who I am. They keep my mind focused on Him and his ever-loving presence. They comfort me when fear slips it's sneaky self through the cracks of my faith. They inform my visitors immediately upon arrival who's in charge of my home. How could these representations of pure love possible be wrong? 

The Lord thy God clearly pronounces in His second commandment He gave to Moses, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God" (Exodus 20: 4&5) First of all, If God Himself says he's jealous, I'm going to give Him the exclusive worship He so demands, and look into this further.

At first I thought 'graven' meant having to do with the grave, or after death, so, I thought it may be ok to have a joyful, living image of our Lord. However, the word graven refers to an engraving, or inscription of an image on a surface, and has nothing to do with death at all. The Hebrew root words of 'image' translate to an outline or shape of a shadow, a resemblance and/or a carving. In addition, God states that he doesn't want any likeness of anything that is in heaven. In Acts 17:29 Paul says, "Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device." Later on he tells the Romans that they have "become vain in their imaginations…and changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man." (Romans 1)  Simply yet sadly put, it looks like absolutely no images are to be made of our God or His beautiful Son, whether it was before he died for us or after. But why?!

Maybe it is as elementary as the fact that we keep getting it wrong. Quite wrong, actually. Does anyone remember Gilda Radner's skit on Saturday Night Live where she admits to having a crush on Jesus, because He is soooo handsome. I actually laughed real hard when I saw that, because I too had a crush on Jesus.  They always paint him up to be quite the looker. Isaiah, one of the chief profits of redemption, writes, "For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him." (Isaiah 53:2) In addition I believe that Jesus of Nazareth's hair would have been black not brown, and given that he grew up under Mosaic law that his beard would have been untrimmed. "His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven." (Song of Solomon 5:11) I also doubt that God looks like an old man, or the Holy Spirit a dove.

In all seriousness, how could we mere humans possibly capture the divinity of our God.  John Owen conveyed this beautifully in 1679…

  

"The true beauty and amiableness of the person of Christ, which is the formal object and cause of divine love, is so far from being represented herein, as that the mind is thereby wholly diverted from the contemplation of it. For no more can be so pictured unto us but what may belong unto a mere man, and what is arbitrarily referred unto Christ, not by faith, but by corrupt imagination. The beauty of the person of Christ, as represented in the Scripture, consists in things invisible unto the eyes of flesh. They are such as no hand of man can represent or shadow. It is the eye of faith alone that can see this King in his beauty. Can his condescension, his love, his grace, his power, his compassion, his offices, his fitness and ability to save sinners, be deciphered on a tablet, or engraven on wood or stone? However such pictures may be adorned, however beautified and enriched, they are not that Christ which the soul of the spouse does love;­ they are not any means of representing his love unto us, or of conveying our love unto him."

I did an experiment before I wrote this post. I removed all the images of Jesus I had in my studio. (Yes, I have more than one image in several rooms in my home!) Not long after, I sat at my desk in a time of need to pray. I looked up and saw that my smiling Jesus was missing. So was my suffering Jesus. So was my hope Jesus. I closed my eyes in an attempt to see the memory of them. Instead of visualizing something that probably looked nothing like my Lord and Savior, I instantly felt God's loving presence and charity. There was no delay. It was as if I had upgraded my access speed. Interesting isn't it?

Here is how I have to look at some of God's rules: He wouldn't have made them if they weren't good for us. I often tell my kids, "You may not understand my rules now, but someday you will, and you will thank me for them." Jesus told His disciples before He left them, "Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you." (John 16:7) Ah, my newfound comfort! - not a misrepresentation of my Lord, but His actual Holy Spirit inside my very being, in an instant. Try it for yourself…close your eyes, and enjoy! 

Please remember, BIBLE BAIT is written by a novice Bible study student, not a Bible scholar. If something doesn't look quite right to you, dig into God's word. The one thing I promise you is that you won't get bored! Many thanks to my friend Renee Driscoll, who helps me keep Bible Bait Biblically correct.