Monday, January 26, 2009

Book Trailers

The new trend in promoting books are book trailers, and I've been lassoed in. I'm devoted to climbing the slow but exciting learning curve of iMovie, and to mastering the gift of getting my 'actors' to cooperate. At this time I have more out-takes than in-takes. Here are a few...

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Dance Crasher Strikes Again

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Or will they? Since my article in the Enquirer on inappropriate dancing at jr. high mixers ("We have a responsibility to guide children" - June 2, 2008 - also posted on blog below) I have become somewhat of a dance crasher. Last weekend I slipped into another dance as the song "Let It Rock" was starting to the roar of delighted tweens and teens. I couldn't tell whether it was the edited version or not, but it doesn't matter; the kids know and enthusiastically sing the explicit version. If you're not familiar with the lyrics, they include "Panties drop. And the tops. And she gunna rock 'til the camera stop" - and becomes even more explicit. Not nearly as explicit as last years' seventh and eighth grade dance hit "Crank That Soulja Boy". (Do yourself a favor and Google the lyrics to that song!)

Words may not be all that can hurt our children; after all, a picture is worth a thousand words. One glance at any Myspace site and you're sure to cringe. The big trend now is to take a photo of yourself from above as to highlight your cleavage, some including peeping nipples. And it get worse. It's popular, seemingly legal, and no exaggeration, kiddy porn.

It's no wonder children are sending each other nude photos over their cell phones, and jig humping each other on the dance floor. I'm going to say what I said before, "I just don't get it."

The good news is, parents can make a difference. A few months ago I was invited to meet the head chaperone at a jr. high dance, whom I had sent my article. I was a little nervous and feeling a bit like Dana Carvey's character, The Church Lady. The chaperone's warm welcome and and even warmer smile was a relief. In fact all the parents involved were very upbeat. One of them had a sign pinned to his back that read "Zero tolerance for inappropriate dancing!!" There were similar signs on the DJ's desk, and the DJ announced it throughout the night. How did the children react? They said it was no fun. Was attendance down at the next dance? No, in fact it was up.

The best advice I ever received from a veteran parent was to "keep your kids close". Knowing where they are, what they're listening to, and watching is crucial to their emotional health. I check my children's phones and websites frequently. This formable time in their lives is not a time to give them their privacy or give in to trends. In spite of the initial reaction you'll get from them, they'll not only thrive on, but crave boundaries. All children want is to have a little fun, and be safe in the process. Many parents came up to me and thanked me for my previous article, and that felt great. But what really made my efforts worthwhile was when an eighth grade girl thanked me. Now that's what it's all about.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

DIVORCE - Helping children to cope with this difficult change.





Check out my article, "DIVORCE - Helping children to cope with this difficult change." in this month's issue of ParentGuide, NYC's oldest and largest local parenting publication. Click on cover image to view.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Downloadable Bookmark


I've just added a downloadable bookmark of the Six Golden Rules to Help Children Through Divorce (see earlier post) to my website. Click on image if you'd like your own "BookMinder".

Monday, January 5, 2009

Divorce Day: Is it this first working Monday of the new year?

Kindly waiting for the holidays to be over, this first working Monday of the new year is thought to be the day most people file for divorce. But some lawyers argue that the big day is April 16th, once finances are neatly revealed. With Valentine's Day in between, I'm sure Hallmark prefers the latter. Either way, according to the courts, January is the month when most divorces are filed.

With this in mind, keep any children involved in your hearts. Let them know often that the divorce is not their fault and that their parents love them to pieces, just the same as they always did!

I hope you have a very happy and peaceful new year!